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Confidence is a crucial aspect of anyone's life, and this time I'm sharing with you techniques that took my confidence from average to dangerously high. No matter how insecure or needy folks can be, and no matter where they fall on the spectrum of confidence, they can always cross the line and stop being identified by feelings of low self-esteem, laziness, or fear. How about it? Are you finally ready to let out the interesting, electric, and magnetic personality you were designed to be? Are you interested in feeling better about yourself, increasing your success, beauty, friendship, joy, and self-expression satisfaction? Then pay attention.
Create Your Own Rules
The first step to taking charge of your life—and setting yourself on a path to lasting happiness—is to eliminate those unrealistic expectations that you believe others have of you. When you make decisions and behave in ways that are dictated by your fear or desire to please others, you are not living a cost.
you are not living a life that truly belongs to you. Instead, you're carrying the weight of other people's opinions and judgments, which can crush your sense of freedom. It’s important to ask yourself, “Whose standards am I living by? Are they really mine, or am I just trying to fit into someone else's idea of success?”
When you set your own rules, you regain control. It means doing what feels right for you, even if it goes against the grain. Confidence comes from knowing you’re making choices that align with your own values and desires, not because you’re trying to make everyone else happy. This shift might not happen overnight, but once you stop living by other people's expectations, you’ll feel a huge weight lift. You’ll have the space to live a life that’s genuinely yours, and that’s where real confidence begins.
Turn Weaknesses Into Strengths
Once you have taken an honest look at your strengths and weaknesses, it’s time to embrace them. The reason we often feel self-conscious or hold a poor image of ourselves is due to the fear of failure. You know, the "What will others think of me?" mindset. People are constantly searching, almost desperately, for those who have enough vulnerabilities to just let anyone be themselves around them. Do you mock your own terrible ruptures? If not, you should. Make them some of your stories. Your rough edges should be nothing that you have to hide from. Making fun of yourself can be extremely attractive to others, as it shows you don’t take yourself too seriously. Once you acknowledge your own failures, focus on what you can do to improve, learn how to ask for the right help when you need it, and make sure to take action on it.
The sooner you tackle them, the better and faster you will grow. Remember that everyone has areas for improvement. Turn your weaknesses into strengths. Your flaws are only an illusion of a greater strength you have yet to acquire. As humans, we all possess both our strengths and trying weaknesses. Most people choose to focus on trying to cover up those areas they feel weak in. However, you can rise above the rest—and be the best—by recognizing that everyone has chinks in the armor.
Don't Fear Failure
In fact, be really excited to fail. As with everything in life, perspective is a really important point, and how you view your failures and challenges is just as important as anything else. When I was younger, if I didn't pass a test or miss a goal or do something I really wanted to do, I'd write in my journal about how my life was over, it was the end of the world, etc.
Now, growing older, I'm more aware. I smile, look at what I could have done better to get a better result in the future, thank God for teaching me a life lesson (whatever it is, good or bad), and keep moving onward and upward. I don't fear failure, and I encourage you not to either. Why? Fear of failure isn't a fear of really failing. It is fearing the perceived embarrassment if others label us as failures. The truth is that the more you try to win, and albeit fail, but learn from your mistakes so you get closer to winning in the future, the less the way you feel after the initial incident.
Be Brutally Honest
Speak the truth, even if it’s awkward or hard. Most people respect honesty more than perfection. When you stop hiding behind lies or half-truths, you feel more confident being yourself.
Think of someone so sure of themselves, others naturally listen to them, buy their things, value their opinion, and invite them to parties or connect for coffee. They never seem to doubt themselves. They seem to always know what they're doing or find a way to figure it out. That person easily radiates an energy the rest of us all crave to have, as well.
That level of confidence doesn't always come naturally. Unfortunately, life teaches some of us how to lack confidence really well, too. The good news about that, like learning a dance, is you can also condition the behavior back, introducing the rest of the room to who they didn't think they could invite, either. The truth is, we're all not much more than the masks we wear. Do what truly scares you and you'll find out. So they don't anymore. Confidence comes gradually, begins building again when busting through fear and, eventually, that person everyone wants to invite to coffee feels more and more comfortable in their own skin. They feel safe to be who they are and feel more confident to live a life they desire. What you do with that once you find it is entirely up to you.
Take Risks Often
It takes an equal amount of confidence to win or lose. Many individuals are the talk of the town or seen as having it all because they have succeeded, but what many don’t realize is that the wins come with the losses. The truly confident not only dare, but also have no issue accepting defeat. Why? Because often times it’s not about the win but the journey along the way and what they ultimately end up learning about themselves. And take it from me, the more confident and sure of oneself one becomes, the less those losses hurt or matter because there’s really nothing that can make you feel inferior to your equal. So take risks—often! As you take more risks, bigger challenges won’t scare you nor will you shy away from taking those steps that others thought you were nuts for. Why? Because you’re riding a wave of confidence, fully knowing you have control of your thoughts, feelings and actions. Your confidence grows because you’ve experienced these "big deals" before and you’ve succeeded, lost or walked away without a scratch and you feel fine!
Master the Power of Silence
When you talk less, people pay more attention when you do speak. Silence is a tool that many overlook. We often feel the need to fill every pause in a conversation, but true confidence comes from being comfortable with silence. When you’re not rushing to talk, you’re showing that you don’t need to seek approval or validation through constant chatter.
Pausing before you speak not only gives you time to think but also makes your words carry more weight. People listen more closely when they know you don’t speak just to fill the air. Plus, silence can make you appear more thoughtful and in control of the conversation.
Don’t Get Attached to Outcomes
Stop thinking about every move: The more you orient yourself in life, the less sure of yourself you'll be. So whenever you get the itching feeling that something is missing in the moment, just let that feeling pass over you and then move on. The easiest and quickest way to do this in your mind is to just shift your focus onto some other mundane activity or idea. This doesn't mean that you become indecisive in life; instead, just act on what you know without comparing yourself to your common overthinking pattern. Besides, confidence comes from taking action. It's the very antidote to the illogical pattern of staying in your head; proceeding to contemplate about something is really not that different from worrying, and worrying only keeps you stuck. Overthinking creates doubt, and the more you analyze, the more you paralyze yourself. When you let go of the need to control every outcome, you free yourself to act with confidence, no matter what the results might be. Realize that not everything needs to be perfect, and not every decision requires endless thought. By focusing on the present and simply taking action, you build momentum. Confidence isn’t about knowing everything will work out—it’s about trusting that you can handle whatever comes your way.
Be Selfish Sometimes
The real way to be selfish is going towards your goals, going towards your true values. You see, putting yourself first has this bad connotation, like you're a bad person if you do it. But in reality, what good would you be to the world if you put all these other things first and you gave it your all but you didn't give yourself your all? So the big thing is, is respecting yourself and putting yourself first instead of letting the priorities of the world and the judgments of the world bring everything down. One of the best ways to increase confidence is to focus on what you're really good at. Okay, there's a couple of things that you're really good at and maybe one specific thing that is just your talent, your passion, your superpower. And when you're actually doing that, things in life come a lot easier. Those are the things that you're truly naturally confident at. And not only that, those are the only things that you can bring that serve the world. So why wouldn't you pimp it up, make that your main thing that you're doing it only from your expressions is where you express what you're passionate about, your talents, your values you have to offer in this world at a high level, all day, every day!
Train Your Inner Voice
Most people have a harsh inner critic; don’t be one of them. That voice inside your head can either lift you up or tear you down, and for many, it leans towards the negative. We all have moments of self-doubt, but constantly criticizing yourself will only make you feel small and stuck.
The key is to catch that negative voice and reframe it. Instead of telling yourself, “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never succeed,” flip it to something more supportive, like, “I’m learning” or “I’ve gotten through tough times before, I can do it again.” Positive self-talk isn’t about lying to yourself, it’s about shifting the way you see things so you can be kinder to yourself.
Confidence doesn’t come from being perfect, it comes from being able to pick yourself up and move forward, no matter what. So, train that inner voice to cheer you on. Over time, you’ll notice that you’re not just feeling better about yourself—you’re taking bolder steps, too. When your mind is on your side, there’s no limit to what you can achieve.
Today, think about all the things that you’re truly passionate about, but have said no to because of fear and lack of assurance. What are your deepest desires? Are you ready to set those dreams into motion? You should be because being self-confident isn’t something you can turn on with a flick of a switch for those big times you really need it. As the cliche says, it’s now or never, darling!
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