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Every person holds an old version of themselves, a version that struggles to keep up with life. This old self isn’t perfect, because we’re not born with all the tools and knowledge. We make mistakes, and instead of evolving, we often cling to comfort. Unfortunately, this comfort keeps us stuck in old patterns, preventing the growth we truly need to live a fulfilling life.
The truth is, if you want to reach new heights, you need to kill the old version of yourself. Here are 8 powerful steps to make that happen:
If you don't feel like reading, you can watch the video here
Identify What’s Dying
Killing your old version or reinventing yourself has a process. The first step is to identify what’s dying. Understanding and accepting that your old self is dying is the essential step. For most of us, failing to identify whatever that old self is dying is what is denying us that beautiful transformation that we are craving. We are so used to the old version of ourselves that the thought of a new version of us is a taboo. Before you start reasoning about creating a new version of yourself, take your time and evaluate your current self. If you’re not happy, take your time to sit down and reflect: Am I happy with the direction that my life is taking? What is really killing me? What is it that I don’t like about myself? Take your time and be very clear about what is not right with your old self so that whatever you’re going to do doesn’t create the same old you or even a worse product. What is really holding you down?
Stop Seeking Validation From Your Past
Second step is stop seeking validation from your past. The past is irrelevant to who you are becoming. The prime enemy of anything new is something old that worked well once.
By validating your past, you let it define the future. You humiliate yourself and refuse to give yourself credit in the areas where it's due. Even when it is, you attribute your progress to those who have nothing or very little to do with it. In doing so, you deny yourself the opportunity to take pride in your decisions, actions, and accomplishments, and detract from the motivation needed to continue to grow and learn on your path. Until you stop looking at the world for a virtual pat on the back, you'll never be sure that you could have kept going on without it. Why not believe in your ability to succeed, rather than just relying on it? You've proven yourself wrong, and if you gave yourself half a chance, you'd see that you can be your best supporter—far better than that ragged, distorted, continually shifting, and maddeningly intangible image you've come to rely on to stay above water. The validation game is easy, but it also keeps you on the sidelines, a victim of the memories that you are trying so hard to get past.
Make Peace With Your Shadows
Shame gets in the way of reinvention. It keeps you imprisoned in your reputation. It keeps you caged by the learned belief you are nothing more than an image. A two-dimensional rendering for public consumption. First, you need to label the things in your life you are most ashamed of revealing. Write them down. Embrace them. You’re not going to tell the world about them, but don’t let them control your life. The first step to freedom is owning your errors and transgressions.
Why are these shameful things hanging on? They have so much power because to you they reveal something about you that is true in your heart of hearts. You can’t change them, so you’re ashamed. That shame is preventing you from evolving because it’s blocking your capacity to be the next version of yourself.
Stop fighting your shadows; the more you suppress them, the stronger they become. Once you accept these darker parts, they lose their power. You’ll realize that you’re not just killing your old self, you’re evolving it.
Stop Repeating The same Story
There are many stories that we repeat about ourselves, Our stories are a composite of the stuff around us and our interpretation of it from childhood. There are a few key stories that heavily influence our choices and our belief in ourselves. You are probably the kind of person who finds it hard to save money, is hopeless at confrontation, takes things too personally, always does the wrong thing, never says the right thing, always misses out, and never comes first. How outdated they sound when you say them out loud. Stop repeating that old story, step aside, and be open to new thoughts that create a new story. You can’t be the kind of person who can hold their breath underwater for 5 minutes as long as you keep repeating that story of, ‘I’m the kind of person who can’t'. You first have to want to stop saying that story and be willing to have another story that replaces it.
Create a Ritual For The Death
To start any new period in life, you need a symbolic ritual. We use special rituals to mark all important moments in our lives—such as our birth, our wedding, the first day and the last year of school, our birthday, Christmas Day, and many others. So, you need a very simple, but symbolic, personal ritual to mark the end of the old version of yourself and start a completely new and unexplored way of living your life.
This ritual doesn’t have to be complicated. It could be writing down everything that represents your old
self—your fears, your limitations, your past—and burning the paper. The act itself isn’t as important as the intention behind it. What matters is that you commit to letting go of the person you were. This small but powerful act will create a mental shift, signaling the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.
Detach From Old Environments
Detach from old environments; only in discomfort will the old self finally break down. You are a product of your environment. In order to transform and let the old version of you break down, it is necessary to detach from old environments that trigger the old state of being. Our life is governed by the power of habit, which leads us to behave and think in a certain way.
This habit manifests itself according to our perspectives and our interaction within the environment we are in. Detaching from environmental influences long enough to get out of the same energy field that created these habits can be rewarding. This discomfort and impatience serve as the contrary force that causes the transformation.
By eliminating the lowest, most suppressive, most negative influences from your life, like particular drugs, toxic people, and unfulfilling jobs, you’ll find new perspective and vision. You will start to feel the world again with the eyes of a child who doesn’t know anything, and only in discomfort will you realize the longings, ambitions, and desires of the new self you can become, rather than attracting the pain and wounds of the old self.
Adopt a “No Turning Back” Mindset
Once the old version of you is dead, there's no going back. I’ve seen many people who have claimed to have reinvented themselves, but in fact, they just made a tweak! A tweak means a “slight adjustment, modification, or improvement.” People who make a tweak usually go right back to their original self because they didn’t have a death.
It's common while trying to reinvent ourselves that we will fall back to our old ways because we are going through a dark, unfamiliar place. But if you just tweaked by falling back to your old ways, it's still familiar. We are strong. We do have the strength to keep fighting and live and become the person we truly are meant to be. These are the facts. We just have to live and keep fighting.
Give Birth To The New You Every Day
Every day, in the most intrinsic yet profound ways, we are giving birth and dying. But many of us are in a draconian mode, where everything is sick, and nothing is allowed to be born or to grow. We are imprisoned by the comfort of what we know. So even when our body functions on routine autopilot, we have boarded a ship to nowhere. To kill your old self and be reborn, you need to understand that life is about continuous renewal, about giving birth to a better you every day because losing your old self and your autocratic habits is not a one-time event. It is challenging, and you have to be on guard and work hard to kill it, but it's doable by all of us.
Some people think that old souls have the wisdom that comes from living many lifetimes. Yet, perhaps, true growth always comes when one allows life to move through you, but when you hold on to it, dig in your heels, and refuse to change, you start to die. After all, it's not the age, but your desire for growth that makes you a wise, sage-like soul.
Final Thought
It's the death of your old self that gives birth to your new self. Are you willing to let your old self die? Are you willing to kill it off and reinvent who you are? Answer that in the comments.
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